Should monkeys have puppies?

This is interesting:

A mother monkey, while morning the loss of her child, adopts a puppy and raises it as her own. This is awesome for a number of reasons. For one, look at the picture, it's a monkey holding a puppy in a tree. Can't beat that.
Now, at least once a week I have to tell my girlfriend that if she gets a dog, I can't help her take care of it. There's a lot of reasons for this, the first is that every time she sees a dog her voice goes up a hundred decibels and she blabbers to the dog like it's the second coming. I hate it. Second, you can't go out of town without tricking someone into taking care of the dog. Inconvenient. Third, I know people with dogs and every time you're out drinking, they have to go home and walk the dog. Intolerable. It's not that I don't like dogs, I do like dogs. I'd be pretty psyched to have a dog that could catch a frisbee.
Fact: while these are valid reasons why I don't have a puppy, none of these are valid reasons to stop a monkey from having a puppy **(see foot note)
Think about it. What better way to train a puppy to not shit on your stuff then (assuming you are a mother monkey) to shit in your hand and throw it at the puppy? Don't waste your time thinking of an answer to that, it's a rhetorical, there is NO better way. Monkeys do that all the time, it's one of the things that make them awesome.
OK so, yeah, puppies can't climb trees. Good point. But that just means that the mother monkey has to spend time on the ground. And mark my words, if a mother monkey spends a lot of time on the ground with her puppy, someday that puppy is gonna be a full sized dog, and when that day comes, the mother monkey is gonna add 2 and 2 together, and she's gonna ride that dog like a horse. There is simply no great triumph in the animal kingdom then riding another species around like a horse. Awesome.
And mark my words again. Monkeys are smart. If a monkey is riding a dog around for long enough, that monkey's gonna figure out how to dress up like a cowboy. It's evolution at it's finest.




Conclusion: Monkeys are awesome puppy owners. Furthermore, if my girlfriend wants a dog so bad, the only way to get me on board is by getting a monkey to fling shit at the dog when he's bad, and ride him around the park like an awesome little cowboy while I'm at happy hour.

**Yes I am well aware of the alcoholic monkeys who live by the beach and steal drinks from tourists. This could be seen as a possible argument against me going out drinking while my monkey, Chet, has to take care of the dog. However, I feel this would add a great deal of motivation to my alcoholic monkey, Chet, to train and ride that dog like an awesome getaway car for a monkey drink stealing bandit.