there are few things we here at tbdcdcdcdbdc appreciate more than cold drink. well, maybe a cold drink and a frosty cigarette, but i think the cigarette is implied. we distinguish between wine drunk, blind drunk, SPARKS drunk, and of course, gin drunk. we regularly complete the gin switch and even occasionally the reverse-gin switch.
but all along we had assumed drinking and getting drunk were strictly human endeavors. fortunately, we were wrong. apparently our monkey cousins separated by just 50,000 years of evolution share our same tastes.
some people think this is a travesty, but i personally can't blame these monkeys at all. first of all, they don't know any better; they're like drunk children. what are you supposed to do? yell at them? ha! i'd like to see it. they're monkeys, stupid! and more importantly, booze is good for the body and the soul. look how much fun those little critters are having! knocking tables over, rolling around on the ground... if only they had a shot of one booting by a tree. that would be the bees knees, i'll tell you what.
thankfully drunk monkey have penetrated human culture in more ways than just documentary-style youtube videos. (sorry, i can't embed this video. go to @radical.media move your cursor to the left, click on 'Commercials,' scroll down to 'Barton Landsman' then watch the first ad--the thumbnail is the top one to the right of the video. i know it sounds hard, but you won't regret it.) now granted this ad received its fair share of flack from animals rights groups, but i say we need to put our differences behind us.
our globe has been divided for far too long into human and non-human groups and these arbitrary distinctions need to end. clearly these monkeys have more going for them than we would like to admit. by getting trashed do they not embody the great dr. johnson quote, "he who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man"? they're clearly not making beasts of themselves to get rid of the pain of being beasts. that just doesn't make any sense. these drunk monkeys are experiencing a dark, existential crisis and it's time we came to recognize it. let us not focus on our differences any longer, let us instead focus on that which brings us together: booze.
cheers, monkeys!
1 comment:
Mike claims that if he had a pet monkey, it would be well behaved. I think that both these videos prove that he is full of shit.
I will say though, that "Joe" looks like a cool guy. I'd tie one on with him this weekend, that's for damn sure. He killed that club.
Post a Comment