Don't Taser Me Bro

These Colors Don't Run
These Colors Don't Run
These Colors Don't Run
These Colors Don't Run
These Colors Don't Run
These Colors Don't Run
These Colors Don't Run

In Defense of the XFL

Although Colin did not explicitly deride the XFL, I feel the need to defend its better qualities. The league implemented at least a few policies that the NFL could benefit from, the first and most frivolous being the camera in the cheerleaders changing rooms. I do not even know where NFL cheerleaders go to get dressed, let alone what it looks like! Valuable insight into an appreciated aspect of any game.
More importantly, the XFL put microphones on almost every player of significance during the game. This seems obvious to me. Players are always talking while on the field and I want to know what they are saying. Sure it would not be appropriate for network TV, but make it available to the satellite crowd. I am way to stingy to actually pay for satellite TV, but I would greatly value showing up to work each Monday morning and perusing lists of the better quotes. Who's with me?

I have said this before, but I will say it again. The XFL could have adopted one single gameplay rule and it would not be remembered as a fad now, but continually cherished much in the same way that kindergarten is. Each team should have been allowed one designated "tosser" and one designated "small person" on the roster. The small person need not be in the midget/dwarf category, although it might be beneficial. This combo of players could be used on one defensive play per drive, whether it be a regular down, or a special teams situation. Once the ball is in the play, the tosser is allowed to throw the midget as many times as possible. The throw play could be used with any motivation, but I foresee sacking the QB and deflecting kicks to be the most common applications. I have been told that this may be seen as a controversial rule by many people, but I think it is beyond question that it would have made the XFL the most popular alternative sport for fans.

Fads

fads are the thebombdotcom.com. what's so great about them is that they are so non-committal. it becomes popular, you like it for a bit, then it passes and basically no one remembers it ever happened.

look at the great fads that have come and gone in our lifetime: hammer pants, the XFL, and this very blog. if you don't agree, put your money where your mouth is and post something.

Personal Unwindings

One time, I unknowingly stumbled into the Dominican Day Parade - that was certainly shocking. On a recent weekend, I walked into K-Mart at Astor Place, on the weekend NYU freshman arrived - I was horrified. If the pretending-to-be serious faces, poorly applied make-up, wishful eyes, and non-New York-but-trying-really-hard-to-be chic wardrobes didn't get me down enough, the accompanying nervous faced parents, whose worst fears were very much about to be realized, put me over the edge.

New York City ruins people. I will note that I don't necessarily think this ruining is a bad thing, but a person who arrives in New York is not the same person who leaves it. Some people might be jaded, others will be enlightened, and in the case of these girls at K-mart, most of them will try coke and fuck sketch-balls they meet at bars (and think that they are more "new york" for doing so (and furthermore not understand why their high school friends don't like them anymore when they come home for Thanksgiving)).

My roommate thinks that I could help ease my anxiety if we start selling drugs and start a webcam, thus ensuring that we have full control over the downfall of these girls. In a sick way, I agree with the motives of his idea. Unfortunately, chinatownwebcam.com is taken. Oh wait, fuck, no it isn't...